The way we think greatly influences the way we approach events and people in our lives. Cognitive therapists understand that the brain automatically interprets new situations by comparing them to situations we have already encountered; any ‘lessons’ we learned about managing in the past are instantly consulted as a model for how to manage in the present. Because this process is largely automatic, old beliefs can continue to influence the present even when they no longer reflect a person’s current goals or lifestyle.

For example, individuals who grew up believing they can only be likeable when they are doing something special may find themselves endlessly working to please others, despite the personal costs. Those who grew up believing that things will not work out no matter how hard they try may find themselves giving up before starting and then feeling depressed when situations fail to work out as they hoped.